Handling A Break Up- Break up- is often a commonly used term for relationship failure or end of a romantic relationship. Like all losses, break up is often followed by grief and feelings of losing a part of oneself. Break ups are often internally traumatic, and the sufferer is often left to make sense of the reminiscences and symbols of the relationship. Low mood, negative thoughts, feelings of betrayal, guilt, hopelessness, feelings of emptiness, preference for solitude are usually seen in such situation. Some other symptoms like ideas of self harm, suicide, inability to do daily usual activities, use of alcohol or other drugs, etc may also be seen in a subgroup of persons.

Here are some of the tips which may help you in handling the break up in a more healthy manner-

1. Please remember that good and bad times are not permanent. Time is one of the biggest healer, hence please remember the age old adage that “this too shall pass“. Negative thoughts will come and seemingly sweep you like waves, however never forget that once you let the wave pass the feelings will reduce.
2. Do not fall into the trap of alcohol, drugs or self medication. These behaviors will rather add to your agony and make the suffering last longer. Hence, please stay away from these behaviors especially when your mind is in a vulnerable phase.
3. Please do not isolate yourselves. Rather make efforts to stay around people who care for you like your family and/or friends. Being around them will heal you faster.
4. Talk about the hurt – do not hide your feelings in the deepest corners of yourselves. Share, talk, ventilate- having someone listen to you and provide a ear can be a great help. Do not distance these resources and support from self.
5. Try to maintain your schedule- please try to maintain your schedule in terms of sleeping and waking timings, eating healthy and regularly, work routine, self care etc. However the key is not to enforce the routine upon yourselves, but rather helping the routine take you forward.
6. Pursue a hobby or past time of your choice- often the pace of life and chaos does not permit us time to follow our passions. Take time out which is unoccupied now to do something you have always liked and wanted to do. Yes! This is the time.
7. Do not fall for a rebound relationship- rebound relationships are often doomed, and you don’t want to set up another trap for yourself. Do you?
8. Focus on the lesson learnt- every life event, howsoever seemingly negative has some message for us. If we take the learning from this failure and make ourselves a better being for the future self and relationships. May be we are on the right track.

Good luck!!!

From DelhiMindClinic.

The Blue Whale Game has got everyone worried and all the parents alert. whatever the age, all parents are telling their children not to download the game, restricting and monitoring the mobile phone usage of their kids whatever the age. The real challenge though is to realize that something will always be there and we cannot monitor our kids all the time, everywhere. Its more important for us to understand what makes our young minds get involved and attracted with such things in the first place and how to prevent the same.

The Blue Whale game and many others like this, pull our kids into them by using two key psychological determinants of an adolescent mind’s psyche. The first is Curiosity and the second is – Thrill Seeking!

Curiosity is the most powerful determinant for a young mind to experiment with something novel and mysterious. whether it is cannabis use in college or late night drinking parties, its all done to satiate an element of curiosity.

Thrill seeking is the second pivotal phenomenon of an adolescent  personality which makes one put societal norms at bay, seeking adventure, a high, a thrill and putting one in danger sometimes whether driving in high speeds or playing such games.

But, as they are a natural element of an adolescent mind’s psyche, we cannot abolish them or regulate them altogether. Though, if we can teach them the skill of exploration in a safe and controlled manner from an early age, it shall definitely help when the curiosity seeks attention of some dangerous activity in adolescent years by engaging in risky situations more responsibly and safely.

Thrill seeking can also be made more responsible by  teaching kids to confide in ourselves from the early years of nascent learning. Letting them know that we as parents find it acceptable to know, understand and share their enthusiasm for such things, shall make them more trusting in relating to us of such matters and if we can teach them the art of responsible decision making by demonstration and not lecturing, we would have won the battle.

So, as long as there is a young mind, there will be threats: lets work on long term preparation than engaging in a sudden,transient knee jerk reaction to each new situation now and then.

Worldwide prevalence of depression is almost 322 million, which means that around us, amongst our own loved ones there are people suffering from this tormenting disease. Yet, we are unable to identify their suffering (people tend to hide it well as depression is a sign of emotional weakness) or are unable to discuss this with them (lack of our own awareness. abilities & limitations).

Howsoever, it has been found in studies that talking to some one about one’s emotional difficulties not only provides immediate support but also inculcates a long term sense of control, confidence & hope.

We don’t need to do much, just provide a patient, compassionate, non judgmental and reflective listening. Impart a sense of adequacy, channelize thoughts and emotions in a positive direction and provide hope.

So, this World Health Day, let’s come out of our closets, open up our minds & free our souls of the sufferings – let’s talk!